Honesty or propriety. Which do you live by?

Too often of late I am finding myself writing things, in emails to friends, on forums and even on this blog, that I find at some stage in the future, I regret. Although I wonder at how my musings will be received by others, I force myself to leave it all as is, as though I said the words out loud and have no way of taking them back, regardless of any reservations which may arise within me. It is perhaps, not so much the fear of how my friends, or the world will react to my idiosyncratic comments and ramblings, but how much of myself I am really laying out for all to see.

I have often heard that speaking without thinking is like shooting without aiming, but I tend to believe that thinking too hard about what you write demonstrates a certain distrust in your own honesty, and that is what forces me to regularly say what is on my mind.

Is it strength or weakness, I wonder, that makes me write my thoughts exactly as they occur to me, with very little editing?  

It takes some strength I suppose, to lay out a road map of your mind and allow the general public to form opinions of you, based on your inner most thoughts, which at some times I admit, are flawed beyond any sense. However I believe it is more likely that this show of strength stems from some deep seeded weakness, to only surround myself with people who I know will love me no matter what I say.

You see, by not thinking too hard on what I write I can be assured that the “true” me is coming through, and the outcome of the world hearing the “true” me is that I will have nothing to hide, no one will ever catch me out in a lie, and I will never have to keep up any sort of pretence that strongly editing my thoughts before they make the page, or come out of my mouth, could impose on me.

There have been people who have been offended by my words, I have no doubt, and all I can say to such people is, sorry. I am sorry I offended you, but is it not a better state of affairs that we part now, than for us to carry on any sort of charade of pleasantries, which will eventually lose their meaning and turn our relationship into an empty friendship, devoid of any true feeling?

Yes there are those who may be offended, but by and large the response to my honesty so far has been pleasing; it is refreshing to know that so many people in this world share the same values as I.

As a result the people who I love, love me, and not a supressed reflection of who I want the world to think I am. These are the people who know the real me – the only me.

So, honesty or propriety. What will it be?

The way I see it is the worst that could come of complete honesty is this – the people who do not like the “true” you will not be in your life, and so will not matter.

The best thing to come of it – well, that would be that you will never be afraid to be yourself, and in the end, isn’t that all we really ask of ourselves.


~ by Alissa Anderton on October 19, 2009.

2 Responses to “Honesty or propriety. Which do you live by?”

  1. you need a “like” button LOL, another great blog!

    • Thanks Dani….. there are the rating stars at the bottom…… sorry no “like” button you facebooker!!!!

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