Everything happens for a reason…..

I am a firm believer in the adage “Everything happens for a reason.” An affirmation which has over the years, been so exhausted through boundless overuse that is no longer holds any meaning to those who say it. It is often dismissed as a measure to make someone feel better, rather than what it is – a belief that there is some divine entity, some omniscient power that exists solely with an intent to prepare us for some higher purpose.

I am not talking about religion, and I never will. I do not know enough about any kind of religion to make any argument for or against them, but I do think that each piece of heartache or pain in our life prepares us for the future, whether that be our immediate earthly future, or whatever else out there that may be.

Things come into our lives, people are lost from our lives, heartache strikes us and problems arise, and as we come out of each experience we are stronger for it.

A child may cry because they did not get their way, this is only because they have not yet faced enough hardship and unfairness in life to know that things don’t always go your way. An adult, may simply shrug and say “Ah well, I tried, and it didn’t work.” They realise that things do not always happen exactly how you want them to, because that is a lesson they have learnt once, or possibly many times before, even if they do not realise it at the time.

As a human, a species in which self-pity is undoubtedly a dominant trait, we can not possibly understand, at the time of any major challenge, how such pain and misery could possibly better our lives. We see only the heartache that we are suffering. But, many years down the road, we will look back at those times and realise that we lived through it, and that we have lived through many other moments of comparable hardship without even blinking, because that lesson had already been learned.  Perhaps, in some instances, we will never even realise how much better we were for having those experiences, we will simply live our lives, oblivious to the fact that we no longer cry when things don’t go our way, and we will look upon such traits as being childish, rather than innocent and naive.

Looking back, I do appreciate people in my life that I did not realise at the time, my first ever “real” boss as an adult, (a witch hunting, fault finder that seemed to pick up on every single mistake I ever made and humiliated me about them on a regular basis) for he has made me strive to do my best in everything, instead of merely settling for mediocrity and passing it off as “I tried”. The man who sued me when drove his bike into my parked car because he wasn’t wearing his glasses, and the judge who admitted she sympathised with him because she too was old and felt sorry for him that his wife made him sell his bike, I thank them both, for they have taught me that life is not always fair, and that people cannot be trusted to act decently and morally when money is on the line. These experiences have made me stronger, so I no longer cry when things don’t go my way, I pick myself up and dust myself off, and get on with it.

“Everything happens for a reason.” I can’t believe anything contrary. We have to believe it don’t we? It’s either that, or the belief that the world is just out to get you and every sucky thing that happens in life is just that – a stupid sucky event which is meaningless in the grand scheme of things. And if that were the case then we could argue that we will never be stronger, we will never be happier and we will never learn to deal with what life throws at us…. and doesn’t that just make you want to cry?

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~ by Alissa Anderton on December 1, 2009.

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