How to not make a Spiderman birthday cake… in ten easy steps.

So Zane turned 3 on the weekend. Hooray, no more terrible two’s, no more two year old drawings on the walls, no more two year old’s throwing every moveable material possession we have off the balcony, no more two year old tantrums and carry ons… now we have a three year old… so far, it’s not so much different.

We had just a few friends for Pizza in the Park for his party… the best bit though… wait for it… I promised everyone he would have the most amazing Spiderman birthday cake ever… here is how I did it…

STEP 1 – Bake lots and lots of cakes according to a standard butter cake recipe, cool them, then cut them into bricks.

STEP 2 – Assemble bricks atop each other to make three towers (which a spiderman figurine will eventually be hanging from)

STEP 3 – visualise the finished cake in your mind, and imagine how cool your son will think he is having a SPIDERMAN CAKE (take careful note of this step, it is crucial to the implementation of step 7)

Step 4 – Cover  the towers with bright blue butter icing. (If not blue, it must be a colour that will attract your child the moment you leave the room.

STEP 5 – Leave the room for a moment… it doesn’t matter what you need to do – toilet, collecting further supplies, make a phone call – it’s up to you… the most important part of this step is to make sure you leave your almost three year old in the kitchen when you leave…

STEP 6 – Return to the kitchen to discover a Godzilla like chunk missing from one tower… and an almost three year old with a very innocent blue-icing covered face.

STEP 7 – Throw a “grown up” tantrum by ditching the cake in the bin, tell your son he will not be having a birthday cake for his party. At some point in this step it is imperative you ring your husband/significant other/sister/co party planner almost at the point of tears and tell them of the recently transpired events. Under no circumstances should you accept any advice or consolation your  “phone a friend” offers you.

STEP 8 – Feel terrible for having such a tantrum and drive to the nearest cheesecake (munchin’ on cheesecake, munchin’ on a cheesecake) shop or equivalent baked treat selling establishment to purchase a strawberry sponge with fresh cream.

STEP 9 – Tip a bag of smarties on top of the purchased cake and press some chocolate frogs into the cream (taste a chocolate frog.. go on, you know you want to, it will make the stress easier to deal with… in fact, it might even solve the GFC – you never really know when it comes to chocolate, it is pretty amazing)

STEP 10 – See the excitement on your son’s face at having so many smarties and choccy frogs placed in front of him and realise that the spiderman cake really didn’t matter at all…

FOOTNOTE – I think I should add here, for all those thinking that a spiderman cake was far too ambitious a project… I can make cakes, and have had some successes in the past…


~ by Alissa Anderton on September 15, 2010.

3 Responses to “How to not make a Spiderman birthday cake… in ten easy steps.”

  1. I think you’re Great! smiles. Splendid! Full of joy is there and it’s awesome what you did … Oooh, what a beauty of Spider-Man… I would succeed, ever, to do what you did … =))

    Happy birthday celebrated! 🙂
    … And btw how old your children now? 🙂

    You’re wonderful and a cool mamma!- smiles
    Kiss you all!


  2. Aw, the Barbie cake!!! I had one of those when I was a little girl… 🙂

  3. Oh how I am smiling. This is just exactly what having kids is like. Thumbs up from one mom to another!

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