The Megan Fox Chronicles…

Me: Can you make me look like Megan Fox?

Hairdresser: No. *serious tone, expressionless face*

Me: Ok then, maybe just a trim. Not too much off the length though please.

This was my conversation with the hairdresser yesterday, or at least that’s how I thought it went… but in my disappointed why-can’t-you-make-me-look-like-Megan-Fox state, what I said must have sounded more like this:

“Please take at least six inches, ten if you can manage it, off the length, discuss the extent of my cuticle damage, and the horror of my reddish regrowth through the fake black with the other girls in the salon, then when you’re finished with all that blow dry my hair into a bouffant Fran Drescher style to show off ‘all that lovely curl that no one would ever have guessed was in there.’”

I don’t recall saying that, but it’s obviously what I said, because I know hairdressers ALWAYS do as you ask them to… right?

Now this is going to sound weird (oh, like I’ve never sounded weird before!) but my hair is a security blanket to me… let me demonstrate it’s ability to comfort and back me up in most any situation…

Them: You’re not as tall without your boots on!

Me: Yeah, but look how long my hair is!

Them: Sorry to break it to you, but you don’t sing so good.

Me: Yeah, but look at my hair… see if I whip it around like this I look like a rockstar and then I don’t even have to sound good…

Them: That’s kind of inappropriate and immature.

Me: I’m sorry, I can’t help it… but look at my hair… isn’t it purdy??

Them: Who did that?

Me: It wasn’t me, it was my hair…

Them: Oh no, the world is ending, the apocalypse is upon us… aliens!! Aaaaahhhh

Me: Pretty hair… pretty pretty hair…lovely pretty shiny hair… (ok that’s me going mad in the face of certain doom… see how my hair is there to comfort me!)


The point of the matter is that now my hair is shorter (seriously I ONLY wanted a trim) there is no longer any hope that I will be able to pull off looking like Megan Fox this weekend.

And why did I want to look like Megan Fox?? Uh, hellloooo….

Actually, it’s all got to do with a five year old… and the Decepticons.


~ by Alissa Anderton on October 13, 2010.

5 Responses to “The Megan Fox Chronicles…”

  1. I hear ya, girl! Last fall I had thirteen inches cut off for Locks of Love and I wanted to sob. I was going for ‘pretty pixie’ and I got ‘linebacker lesbian’. It’s STILL growing out.

    • 13 inches! That’s drastic…

      Mine perhaps didn’t look linebacker lesbian drastic… but I used to be able to use my hair as a bikini top substitute… now it just reaches past my shoulders…

      No more posing for photos in a “Christina-Aguilera-on-the-cover-of-stripped” style for me… at least until my hair grows back…

  2. At least she didnt give you a mullet. Although that would not be a new look for you..hah. Im sure Megan Fox is saying the same thing – there is no longer any hope that I will be able to pull off looking like Alissa Anderton this weekend. – Your way hotter anyways 😉

  3. Please, can you PM me and tell me few more thinks about this, I am really fan of your blog…gets solved properly asap.

  4. Great entry, and thanks for taking the time to publish it; I’m sure other readers benefited also. It really opened my eyes for some new ideas that I hadn’t thought of before.

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