WARNING! Telstra and Paperclips in league to invoke insanity upon… me.

This is one of those stories that people go, “umm, are you ok” when I tell them. In fact, with this particular story, even my random loving mates have whispered, “Kookoo” under their breath when I have told them this story.

So I’m putting it out there, hoping that at least one person will say to me… “OMG, how totally awesome. It’s like all the planets aligned to make this crazy thing happen to you, the universe is looking at you… woooooo!” *ghostly music plays the he background, spirit fingers shaking in an eerie manner* (Can you make eerie spirit fingers? Lets all experiment with that and reconvene here at 8.00 tomorrow morning for demonstration purposes.)

It’s all about paperclips.

And it starts with a phonecall to Telstra.

Tuesday, I rang Telstra, updated my plan, got me a new handset. Hooray. Then Corporate Express rock up to the office with the stationary order I put in the day before. Only instead of the four boxes of lollies I ordered (lollies are considered stationary – when I’m in charge) they sent me four boxes of paperclips. So far nothing strange, right??

The next four days proceeded with people handing me paperclips, instead of the usual chocolates, marshmallows and tiny plastic birds. Workmates, the lady at the newsagent, my son, a mother from school, everyone seemed to have a paperclip for me… until on Friday my husband hands me a paperclip and I say to him, “People have been giving me paperclips all week, why on Earth do I need paperclips for?” and proceeded to gather every paperclip I could find in the house and dispose of them in an attempt to prove to the universe that I DO NOT NEED PAPERCLIPS DAMMIT! I’m a staple girl…

My house was finally clear of paperclips, I felt like I had purged an unnecessary evil from the house of Lis. We were free of the hostile paperclip take over, and we could go on with out lives in a manner free of paperclip oppression.

Anyhow, then my new handset came from Telstra. An iphone 4. Yes, I am now a cool kid.

Sim card in hand I read the instructions on how to insert it…

“First you will need to take a paperclip…”annoying, paperclip

Tell me the universe didn’t plan that.


~ by Alissa Anderton on April 15, 2011.

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