A Telemarketing Conversation…

I love Telemarketers.

I really, really do.

We don’t appreciate them enough, and we certainly don’t use the valuable opportunity they offer us. Here we have a group of people who we can talk complete nonsense to, they have no idea who we are and should we decide to burst into song mid sentence, or ask about pizza toppings, or futuristic bear costumes they cannot judge us, or berate us for our wild notions of acceptable conversation paths.

Today I was called by a dude wanting to book me in for a seminar about tax breaks…

TM -“Hi, it’s Some-Dude from Blah-di-blah-blah Group, how is your day going today?”

ME – “Uh, it was… good… I suppose.” *suspicious tone that says but-your-gonna-change-that-aren’t-ya*

TM – “Don’t worry Maam, I’m not going to try to sell you anything.”

ME – “You called me Maam.”

TM – “As I said I’m not trying to sell you anything, I just wanted to let you know about this amazing opportunity for working homeowners… blah blah blah…”

ME – “I’m not really up for sitting around listening to boring people talk. I’d rather get some flamenco lessons… are you selling any of them?”

TM – “Um, no. But you don’t have to listen to them talk, it’s a chance for learning about your tax breaks and asking questions. There’s a whole panel of professionals -”

ME – “But none of them can Flamenco?”

TM – “I don’t think so.”

ME – “Then why would I want to go.”

TM – “Oh actually!! There is one from Spain, I can check if he can dance.” *enthusiasm in excess*

ME – *giggling* “I wont waste your time.”

TM – “Ok, what do you do for work?”

ME – “Oh, I’m a fairy, and I like to dance.”

TM – “Ok.” (laughing now) “Do you have a partner?”

ME – *feigning distress in a tinkerbell type voice* “You don’t believe in fairies?”

TM – *silence*

ME – “Well thankyou for calling, I’ve had a lovely chat. We should do it again soon sometime.”

TM – *silence again*

ME – “Hope you have a lovely day.”

TM – “Yes… it’s… been… good.” (raucus laughter in the background)


Next call I think I’ll just start with the Genie… “WHO DARES WAKE ME FROM MY SLUMBER?”


~ by Alissa Anderton on May 5, 2011.

One Response to “A Telemarketing Conversation…”

  1. I never thought of it that way, well put!

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