IF x MC x (PD x LI) = Courage

crazy goofy stupid weird

I love my friends.

I can hear you all going “Awww, aint she sweet,” but seriously… let me give you one example of why I love my friends…

I have a boring job as a file fairy… I know, I know, it sounds incredibly exciting, but trust me, the most exciting part of my working day today was the pecan danish, that is if you don’t include the course of conversation my friends took me down…

Here is an email I wrote today, at work, in between singing “Think about something that makes you smile” and fluffing up resumes…

“Right, Well… 

here’s what I think on the subject… 

Your whole email is exactly what I was trying to say when I mentioned that to measure courage you would need to first be able to measure fear… 

as you imply.. it is more courageous for an arachnophobe to relocate a huntsman spider to the garden than it is for a barbaric lunatic to punch a WWW wrestler in the nose because the arachnophobe would be freakin scared out of her wits at the thought of the spider, where the barbaric lunatic probably has no forethought to the implications of punching a pro wrestler in the nose… 

therefore I propose a formulaic solution to our measurement problem.. something along the lines of … 

IF x MC x (PD x LI) = (Unit of courage)

IF = (intensity of Fear)

MC = (mental comprehension of the situation)

PD = (probability of death)

LI = (interest in life)

The problem is knowing what to call a unit of courage. and also finding units for all the other items in the equation… 

The ability to measure courage would greatly depend upon an EEG to measure the high beta brainwaves in regards to the level of fear, as well as intense psychological assessment to measure the value the subject put on their own life and their mental comprehension on life in general. We would need a control subject who we could class as “average” whos comprehension and value on life could be measured as 1 unit to be able to accurately give a measurement to any other…”

I know that any self respecting scientific type person will pull this email to bits and say “you can’t do it like that,” or “blah blah blah,” or something to that extent, but at this point in time my brain needed to do some thinking and whilst I am aware that I will never make it into any scientific journal except maybe as a guinea pig, I do like to play pretend… and me being a scientist is just as possible as me being able to fly…

So point being… I love my friends… they make my life interesting…

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~ by Alissa Anderton on June 1, 2011.

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