In your eyes

In your eyes my decisions aren’t guided,
my judgement skewed and faulty,
based entirely upon a perspective,
that you are unable to see.
In your eyes I have made bad choices,
my reasons for acting are wrong,
I didn’t think on you long enough,
I thought of me for too long.
In your eyes I am walking the wrong path.
In your eyes I have not tried enough.
I haven’t considered what’s better for you,
in your eyes I have given up.
In your eyes I’m unable to tell you
my reasons for all that I do,
yet in my eyes it seems you’re not listening,
because I’ve already explained it to you.
In your eyes I am not learning your way,
and that’s why I’m claiming heartaches,
in your eyes I have carved my own headstone,
in your eyes I am making mistakes.
In your eyes one day I’ll wake up
and realise how deluded I am,
and you pity me enough that you hope for me,
it’s not too late to start again.
In your eyes, you think I’d be better,
if only I saw it through yours,
and you know it would be much clearer,
I’d have risen above my own flaws.
In your eyes I am weak, wrong, incapable,
selfish and impossible to bear,
so I thank God for the fact I have my own,
and that mine are the eyes I must wear.

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~ by Alissa Anderton on September 11, 2012.

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