Discovered your underwear was on inside out? Make a wish!

•April 3, 2012 • 1 Comment

What are we wishing for? What do we seek?

and in the midst of our wishing, to who do we speak?

Do we expect someone’s listening, do we speak to ourselves?

do we think we can change our fortune, our health?

Do the wishes we speak fall on ethereal ears

or is there some secret power to forming ideas?

When we seek out the dandelion, fluffy with seeds,

the six spotted ladybird, or feathers in trees,

are we believing their power’s worth more than our dreams?

or are we merely following the rituals we’ve seen?

So what is so huge about making a wish

that we need to watch stars and steal babies first kiss?

And what are we trying to prove by the ruse,

that wishes need “things” to make them come true?

Are we suggesting they’re not for the people who can’t

be bothered to buy a midnight blooming plant?

Are we saying they’re only for those who take time,

to search out the amulets that any can find?

Or is it indeed that our words are our power,

that spoken in any place, at any hour,

without our stubbed toes, new moons or birthday cakes

that believing it’s true, is all that it takes.

dandelion, seed, floating, fairy, wish

There are so many things in this world to wish on, the North star, the first star, falling stars, birthday candles, stubbed toes, birthday moons, eyelashes, underwear. I recall spending my childhood summer days searching for dandelions gone to seed, ladybugs, curly chips, pink vintage cars (there was only one in my town) and fairy rings and I remember my father driving irritatingly slow past the cemetery because he knew I was holding my breath in a bid to squeeze another wish out of my already wish filled day. Each year as I get older I find more and more things to wish on… catching the clock at 11:11, white horses, feathers stuck in trees, necklace clasps and snowflakes… and it makes me think about the human tendency to want more than we have, for after all, isn’t that what a wish is all about. It seems to me that the reason there are so many things to wish on is a result of the the human race wanting more.

And more we give ourselves, because we always are inventing new ways to wish. Just today I discovered that if you shake your fist at a black horse and it looks at you, you can make a wish. If you wish on a white horse, you shouldn’t look at it’s tail. If you sneeze once you can make a wish, but a second sneeze will cancel it. I’m sure I will adopt all of these little rituals into my daily life in an attempt to score on the wishometer, but is it really necessary.

Walt Disney was a firm believer in wishes. “When you wish upon a star”, a favourite Disney tune, promises the realisation of our wishes, as long as we believe wholeheartedly in what we wish for. Maybe that’s the secret, maybe that’s why we have created so many amulets and rituals based around wishes, because we don’t believe in our own power to grant our own wishes. Maybe a wish-giving object is merely a placebo, something that concretes our wish and gives us reason to believe in it, not the source of the magic at all, but a way for us to believe strongly enough so that it will come true.

Personally, I have made the same wish every time, a million times a day, on a million different things, fairy rings, elephant shaped clouds, pin pricked fingers and sometimes just to myself for no apparent reason, and I’ll continue making the same wish every time I lift my feet up while driving over the railway lines, every time I see a black feather on the ground, every time I meet a genie from the lamp. Even though the rituals and talismans are most likely completely unnecessary, they prompt me, and also make me feel a little silly performing them, which just confirms the thought that something good will come of it… (only good things come from innocent silliness… unless it involves a butane torch or fire works kids.)

I’ll never really know if my wish is coming true, but I suspect, so far, it probably is.

Art is the Weapon

•January 12, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Just came across this awesome art blog today…

thought I’d share.. 🙂

http://inkwings.tumblr.com/

A quote for today…

•January 4, 2012 • Leave a Comment

I read this on wordpress… I thought I’d steal it cos it makes so much sense to me, and to anyone else who has ever written anything from their heart, you will also understand… 

“The art of writing is the art of discovering what you believe.” – Gustave Flaubert

The Adventures of Mr Pepsi Pants in Pop Up World (also titled “My Monday Nights are Totally Exciting and Not Boring at all.”

•December 19, 2011 • Leave a Comment
White, mouse,

Once upon a time there lived a little white mouse with a black bottom called Mr Pepsi Pants. He was very bored with his life as a cage mouse and wanted some real adventure.

mouse, white, pop up, ship, pirate, adventure

So he set of sailing in his very own pirate ship.

Mouse, Ship, pirate, sailing, adventure

His sailing was never to the highest of standard though, so it was no surprise that he eventually fell overboard.

Twelve, dancing, princesses, mouse, white, pop up, castle

He washed up on the Island of the Twelve Dancing Princesses, an island full of beautiful princesses.

dancing, princess, mouse, white, pop up, island

He danced with all of the princesses.

But when each of them found out about the others he ran away, barely escaping with his life intact.

Treehouse, pop up, robinson carusoe, mouse, white,

He eventually found peace in a lonely little treehouse where there were no princesses in sight, but plenty of cheese growing from the trees... he called it his cheesehouse.

Mouse, white, black, bottom, tail, end,

And this is the end of our tail.

Bored or stupid… or bored stupid… either way works for me!!

•November 11, 2011 • Leave a Comment

Unsure whether I was bored or just feeling like I needed to do something stupid to spice up my day but I ended up trawling the net for silly things to do… and came up with a treasure trove of goodies. So I thought I’d share them with you…

This is a list of the one’s that made me laugh the hardest, tweaked by me to make them funnier, and peppered through with things I have actually done, and some of the things I have suggested to people who text me to say they’re bored (why is it they all see me as the entertainment value I wonder (I suppose I’ll decide to take it as a compliment)… which one’s are which?? I’ll never tell Bwaahaaahaaa!!

But try a few, see if you can “fun up” your blah grey and white office, or surprise Darlene at the checkout next time you’re on your way through. I, of course, take no responsibility for any lost limbs or dignity that may be incurred by such actions.

(WARNING – There’s probably a few in here you don’t want to try at the airport…)

1. Trip, fall and knock over a whole mariachi band.
2. Glamorously smoke your breath in the wintertime.
3. Make up silent stories about passersby. Make it interesting, give them super powers, or a dark past that’s about to be uncovered, or a secret identity.
4. Use your hair as a convenient, anytime moustache.
5. Ride a sled down the stairs (It seems like a good idea, because it is a good idea.)
6. Put brushes on your feet to scrub the kitchen floor
7. Solve a murder on a train… you will need to murder someone first.
8. Sit down next to someone at the sushi bar and slide an old briefcase toward them, before they can say anything whisper, “Finally! They said you’d be here an hour ago. Charlie’s waiting at the house.” Then walk away.
9. Wrap up household items and put them under the christmas tree.
10. Press a sign to the car window saying, “I have been kidnapped and am being force fed vegetables” (Hmm, now this is one from the Listory books… I did this when I was about ten years old, on a car trip from Mount Gambier to Adelaide – I like to think I brightened *somebodies* day… it certainly brightened mine!!)
11. Put condoms in trolleys of unsuspecting supermarket shoppers.
12. High five someone waving to someone behind you.
13. Make transformer sounds every time you change positions.
14. Walk up to random strangers saying, “Ronnie!! Ronnie!! It’s really you!!! I thought you were dead!!”
15. Wear a sash that says Mayor… only works well if you are not actally the mayor…
16. In an elevator, casually lean against the button panel.
17. Fake an italian accent.
18. Dye your dog pink.
19. Steal pies from open windows.
20. Rate passersby as though you were an X-factor judge, giving them a score out of ten and some silent criticism on their clothes, their hair and make-up and their ‘X’ factor.
21. Use your secret mind power to make people trip over, or drop their pen, or make their phone ring… the law of averages suggest you’ll eventually get a hit, thereby confirming your psychic ability.
22. Stare at the back of someones head until they turn around… (works on the principal of the “I feel I’m being watched theory”)
23. Pick up a dog so it can see things from your point of view.
24. Introduce yourself to someone as Bella Swan or Edward Cullen… wait to see if you get a reaction… if not, say “just kidding, I’m really Chuck Norris”
25. On a long haul flight scream very loudly every hour on the dot, after each scream pretend you didn’t notice that anyone screamed.
26. make up a word, use it casually in a conversation and see who pretends to understand what it meant.
27. Burn all your waste paper while eyeing your room mate suspiciously.
28. Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they’re in jail.
29. Write your childs lunch order using roman numerals.
30. Write a secret message in permanent texta on a carton of eggs, then put them back on the supermarket shelf…
31. Write a “missing persons” ad for yourself on the back of a milk bottle…
32. Pop some popcorn without putting on the lid
33. When someone says “have a nice day” tell them you had other plans.
34. Hang all your photo frames upside down.
35. Visit a friends house and change all of their clocks.
36. Build an igloo doll house out of ice cubes…
37. Write a letter to someone, run it through the paper shredder and then send it, alternatively, type a letter, change the font to wingdings just before printing and posting it. (works best if you do it with your mother inlaw)
38. If someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
39. Follow someone around, James Bond style.
40. Tuck the end of a toilet roll in the back of your pants, leaving the roll unwinding on the floor and go about your normal office/shopping centre day…
41. Write the surprise twist ending on the inside cover of a library book.
42. At an internet cafe, hunch over a computer typing madly, stop every now and then to give an evil laugh, or stare at someone next to you suspiciously.
43. Bring a chainsaw somewhere. If anyone asks you why you have it look at them sideways and say “just in case…” mysteriously.
44. Drive around with your windows down and the soundtrack to “The Lion King” blaring, singing passionately at the top of your voice, when people look into your car at stoplights grab the air guitar and rock it out or yell out the window “X-Factor rehearsals”
45. Serenade someone in a shopping centre… this works extra well if you have three or more friends to help.
46. In an elevator or on public transport, unzip your bag and say in a loud whisper to the inside of your bag, “Just stay in there, or next time you can stay home.” Look around suspiciously.
47. Pretend to be an elevator attendant, get possessive about the keypad whenever someone tries to press a number. Cry and say, “please, don’t make me redundant! I need this job.”
48. When the checkout person asks how you are, meow at them, keeping a serious face.
49. Wear a puppet on your hand and have all your daily interactions through your puppet.
50. Try paying your grocery bill with monopoly money.

Credit where credit is due!! Check out these sites for more (obviously not as funny) things to do…

http://www.urban75.org/useless/bored.html
http://www.inherentlyfunny.com
http://www.area51newmexico.com

Fairies… It’s always about fairies!

•November 10, 2011 • Leave a Comment

Last weekend we went walking through Byron Bay in an attempt to combat weekend boredom and introduce my sister to some local culture… something Byron Bay has no shortage of.

It was in the midst of wandering around, munching on tacos and pizza and trying not to recreate the scene from Old Dogs where that dude dominos a bunch of bikers bikes outside the pub (and here is the moment where you congratulate my sister and I for our prowess in negotiating a giant huddle of Finks “prized possessions” (that means motorcycles for those not listening) carrying three big plates of nachos… Thankyou, thankyou, I know that is impressive for the stability challenged such as ourselves.)

Sorry, where was I??

Oh right!! It was in the midst of all this that she caught my eye.

I would love to take credit for naming her, I’d love to tell you that she spoke to me and told me what I should call her, but I can’t. Her named was derived from an idea Phoebe had for her own fairy… until she changed hers to Sparkles (or Sparks for short). So being the brilliant mother that I am I stole her idea and mine became Glel.

Sleeping, hanging, fairy, faerie, byron bay, through the magic door

Glel, meet my readers. Readers, meet Glel.

She is very beautiful, and cute… and I can’t stop looking at her… (you can’t tell I’m besotted can you??)

Please don’t mistake me, there were others, as is always the case, but she was the first I saw, the first little tiny face that drew me in to the stall selling sleeping fairies on gemstones no bigger than a thumbprint, tiny mermaids hiding in shells, miniature mouse fairies sleeping in their nests of twigs and beautiful hanging fairies made from eagles and emu feathers… I looked at them all, and oohed and aahed over every single one, and every time I was about to leave I’d go to say goodbye to my little friend Glel then get drawn in again, until I realised the only way out of my faerieised groundhog day was to take her with me…

So now she flutters just below the phoenix cage in my loungeroom, and sleeps there, suspended in mid air, waiting for the breeze to come and tickle her feathers to make her look like she really is fluttering.

And I suddenly have decided what every little girl I know is getting for birthday presents next year!!

Through the magic door, Byron Bay, faerie, fairy, feather, statue

Through the magic door, fairy, faerie, Mouse, Byron Bay Market

Fairy, Faerie, Byron Bay, Through the magic door, Market

(If you want to contact Kerrie, who handmakes all these gorgeous little creatures you can contact her on throughthemagicdoor.hotmail.com or see her online shop at throughthemagicdoor.etsy.com or on ebay, where her seller ID is “throughthemagicdoor” – pretty easy huh?? Even I can remember that!!)

Ah, and there was so much more I wanted to tell you about my weekend, but Glel seems to have taken over….

I wanted to tell you about the van we stalked for 20 minutes on the highway because it had my maiden name (crafter) on it's badge... (Sincerest apologies by the way to the driver of this van, we didn't mean to scare you into needing to change lanes twice to get away from us.)

I wanted to tell you about Emma and Tom's Life Juice... which my sister drank... but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to drink someone's life juice, no matter how friendly Emma and Tom may appear (I'd make a terrible vampire right?)

I wanted to tell you about the goat that was frolicking on the hillside... (OOh, a perfect chance for a Where's Wally type game... Can you see the goat?)

I wanted to tell you about this shop, which seemed neither mad nor crazy, yet I loved the sign... and I dare say I'll use it again at some stage...

I wanted to tell you about my recent acquiring of the word Poppycock to my daily vocabulary, the awesomeness of buttery toast and the way french marigolds can cure a nematode problem in garden soil…

I wanted to share all of this, but I wont, because Glel has taken up all my talking time, and now it’s time for my evening Oreo’s and milo before bedtime!

Goodnight!

Being Madonna

•October 31, 2011 • Leave a Comment

Black lace top from Supre – $12

Fake jewellery and fishnets from discount store – $10

Black tulle skirt from Opshop – $4

Tutu from my daughters dress up box – free!

Getting to hang with Duff Man and sing “Lucky Star” all night cos I’m pretending to be Madonna and no one can tell me to shut up (cos no one tells Madonna to shut up) – Priceless.

Madonna and Duff Man Halloween 2011

Madonna and Duff Man